Post-Holiday Observations

As the New Year begins, many of us have been fortunate enough to have spent some or all of the holidays with our loved ones. Perhaps it was in person or over Zoom, but enough time to have concerns as our older family members may be showing signs of aging, be it memory, confusion, walking a little slower, out of breath, etc. And we wonder whether they can still live alone or take their required medications. We worry as we may not live near them.

Should they still be driving or managing their finances? Are they taking their medications as directed? When asked, they may not know why they are taking the drugs, who prescribed them, or for what medical issue.

And we worry, often with good reason. We also realize that they will probably go to their doctors' appointments unaccompanied, but 1-you live out of town, 2-you are busy with your children and work, and 3-they are stubborn and won't accept your help or suggestions.

So, what do you do when faced with these problems?

Take the worry away from you and them (believe me, they are worried too, but often afraid to say something for fear of losing their independence). Offer them the services of a Patient Advocate as a gift.

Give the gift of health starting with non-threatening observations and communication. Perhaps you may begin your conversation like this: "Mom/Dad, we respect your ability to be independent, but there comes a time when everyone needs help. We are concerned because you take a lot of medication, and you don't appear to know what all of it is for. We want to work together to be sure that you still need all of the meds that you are prescribed, some of which you have been taking for years on end without being re-evaluated. They keep getting refilled. While you are seeing different doctors, they don't always communicate with other doctors the medicines they have prescribed or re-evaluate if you still need them."

A Patient Advocate can review their medications and make suggestions to discuss with their pharmacist or doctor. An advocate can also take them to their doctor appointments, making it a much more productive visit, asking the right questions. An Advocate can also be sure they are seeing the right specialist for their issues and help create a list of all the Preventative Screenings they may need. The money spent will be much less than "fixing" them after a fall, an overdose, etc.

And please, if they live alone, be sure they have an emergency alert button. So many people resist this, but I got my mother-in-law to get one, telling her it was "selfish" not to think of us. We worry and want her to be safe. When she used it, she was glad she had it. I know of a family member with terminal metastatic cancer who lay on the floor for four days! She had fallen and was unable to get up.

Another option is to arrange a "proof of life" call. You need to speak with them every day, if only for a moment. Reassure them it is for YOUR piece of mind.

Let a Patient Advocate help you care for aging family members to ensure they receive the best care for their medical issues, take the proper medications, and see the doctors they need.

Give the gift of lasting health.